10_Extra_English_Annies_Protest

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Narrative

 

Sound of banging on door

 

NICK

Ah! What? Huh?

 

ANNIE

Nick!

 

NICK

Who is it?

 

ANNIE

It’s me, Annie.

 

NICK

 

ANNIE

And this is Ziggy.

Is Hector there?

 

NICK

No, he’s working tonight.

 

ANNIE

Then you must help us, Nick.

 

NICK

Huh?

 

ANNIE

Take these. They are my babies, so look after them, please!

 

NICK

Yeah, sure, no problem.

 

ANNIE

Right. Ready, Ziggy? Come on, let’s go. Hurry!

 

ANNIE

Yes, three o’clock.

Tell the others.

Bye!

 

BRIDGET

“Animals are Human”? Annie. Animals are animals.

 

ANNIE

But animals are like people.

 

BRIDGET

Oh really, Annie? Look at this flat. How can I get ready?

 

ANNIE

Sorry, Bridget.

BRIDGET

I have a very important day today.

 

ANNIE

 

BRIDGET

I have big, big decisions to make. Like which dress.

What do you think?

 

ANNIE

Well, they’re both nice.

 

BRIDGET

I have such a busy morning. David Beckham, Madonna.

 

ANNIE

What?! You’re meeting them?

 

BRIDGET

No, I’m reading about them, and then I’m having lunch – with guess who?

 

ANNIE

Oh, er…

 

BRIDGET

Yes! You’ve guessed it! Leonardo Di Caprio! Leonardo and me! Oooh!

 

ANNIE

Wow! Leonardo Di Caprio? Just you, and him?

 

BRIDGET

Well, nearly. There’ll be 45 journalists there too, but really it’s just me and gorgeous Leo!

 

ANNIE

You and 45 others. I see. Anyway, this cosmetic factory experiments on animals for make-up and I really feel…,

 

BRIDGET

Oh good, Hector, you’re here. Now you can help me choose.

 

ANNIE

Oh, you’re back, Hector. Was it a difficult night at work, snuggly-puppykins?

 

HECTOR

Yes, and the bad news is that Eunice wants me to go straight back.

 

ANNIE

Why?

 

HECTOR

There is a big news story happening today.

 

BRIDGET

So Hector, which dress do you like best?

 

HECTOR

This one.

 

BRIDGET

You’re sure?

 

 

HECTOR

OK, that one.

 

BRIDGET

But you just said this one first.

 

HECTOR

Yes, I know, but Bridget, I am going to Channel Nine now. Are you coming?

 

BRIDGET

Yes, Hector.

And I can tell you all about Leonardo and me!

 

ANNIE

The guinea pigs! Nick!

 

Sound of snoring

 

ANNIE

Good, they’re OK.

 

Sound of snoring

 

Sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

I’m coming!

Oh, Ziggy! Come in. Right, now, there are the posters. Now, a note for Nick. Ready, Ziggy? Bye, Charlie. Wish us luck!

Oh! Wait a minute, Ziggy.

OK, right, let’s go.

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

Today is a very important day!

It is protest day.

 

ANNIE

Wish us luck!

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

And don’t tell anyone I’ve stolen some guinea pigs.

 

ANNIE [Making phone call]

Yes, 3 o’clock. Tell the others. Bye!

 

BRIDGET

I’m having lunch with Leonardo Di Caprio today! Leonardo and me – oooh!

 

BRIDGET

Leonardo and me – oooh!!

 

ANNIE

Wow!

Leonardo Di Caprio!

 

BRIDGET

But I can’t get ready!

Annie and her hippie friends are getting ready to protest at some cosmetic factory – ha!

Doesn’t she understand how important today is for me?!

 

BRIDGET

I have big, big decisions to make.

Which dress?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Ah, Hector. At last. I want you to go straight to Garrier’s Cosmetic Factory.

 

HECTOR

Why?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Because some horrid hippies are protesting there.

 

HECTOR

Why?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Because they think Mr Garrier experiment on guinea pigs for make-up – ha! This is nonsense.

HECTOR

Guinea pigs?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Hmm, you know, guinea pigs. Eee-eee-eee!

 

HECTOR

Oh! Guinea pigs! Oh, how sweet.

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

And these hippies have stolen his guinea pigs.

 

HECTOR

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Poor Mr Garrier adores his little guinea pigs.

 

HECTOR

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

He wants them back. He told me over dinner last night.

 

HECTOR

Who is Mr Garrier?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Mr Garrier owns Channel Nine. And Mr Garrier has said we must make these protesters look very, very stupid. Now get going!

 

HECTOR

Oh, oh, OK, Eunice. Oh…

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I want their heads!

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Oh-oh!

 

BRIDGET

Eunice?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Yes, Bridget?

 

BRIDGET

Is there anything I can do?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Oh, yes. I have a very important job for you. Get me a coffee. Black, no sugar.

 

NICK

Oh, no, no, Bridget. I can’t! I’m a married man!

[Sound of telephone ringing]

Huh? Oh! What? Crazy, man! Guinea pigs!

 

ANNIE

They are my babies, so look after them, please!

 

NICK

Yeah, sure, no problem. Oh, yeah. Annie. Annie! Huh! OK, my little beauties. Time for breakfast. Come on! “Nick, very important. Keep my babies safe. I will call you. Annie.”

Huh! Does she think I’m stupid? Of course you’re safe with me. Ha-ha! Now, let me introduce myself. My name is Nick. Yeah, hello there.

Now, what’s your name? Hmm, Kevin? How do you do, Kevin? And who’s this? Janice? Is she your girlfriend, Kevin? OK, it’s not that funny. Janice, I think you’re very pretty, OK?

So! These are all your friends. Wow! There are 8 of you. You must be hungry. Shall Uncle Nick get you something nice to eat, eh? OK. Ooh! Have they split up?

Hollywood’s most beautiful couple. Hmm! Oh, yes! Yes!

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

…. … …. I cannot hear you!

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I said, “Find the leader”.

 

HECTOR

The what?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

The coordinator.

 

HECTOR

Which one?

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Her! Her! That one!

The one with the big ears!

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

 

ANNIE

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

This isn’t a tea party. Ask her a question.

 

HECTOR

OK.

So how important is this protest?

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

ANNIE

Well, well, yes, it’s very important, because this factory – Garrier’s – experiments on animals for make-up.

 

HECTOR

And why is that bad?

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

ANNIE

Because.., oh, because the poor animals are suffering.

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

Oh, that’s dreadful.

The poor things.

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Ohhhhh! Oh, poor little things.

They’re just guinea pigs! Ohhhhh!

Hector, remember who Mr Garrier is? You do want your job.

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

OK, so do you think this march will help the animals?

 

NICK

Hey! It’s Hector and Annie.

 

ANNIE

This march is….

 

NICK

Wow, man!

 

ANNIE

We must stop Mr Garrier!

 

HECTOR

I see.

 

ANNIE

These scientists are using poor animals to test on hair dye, lipstick, mascara, blusher. They use…

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Well, tell her. Tell her we need make-up! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And where are the 8 guinea pigs they stole from the laboratory?

I bet she knows. Ask her!

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

OK. And do you know anything about some stolen guinea pigs?

 

ANNIE

The guinea pigs are safe.

 

NICK

Oh yeah, they’re safe with me, aren’t you, my pretty ones.

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I bet she’s got those guinea pigs! Ask her! Ask her!

 

HECTOR

OK! Have you….

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Louder, … … …

 

HECTOR

Have you got…..

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

We’ve got her! Ask her again! Ask her again!

 

HECTOR

Have you got the guinea pigs?

 

ANNIE

Hector, why are you doing this? You know I love animals.

 

HECTOR

I’m sorry, Annie.

It’s my job.

 

ANNIE

Well, you can keep your job!

 

HECTOR

Annie, please! Wait, I’m coming!

 

CROWD

GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT! GARRIER OUT!

 

HECTOR

“This is Hector Romero for Channel Nine news.”

Annie, please! I can explain! Wait!

 

NICK [Composing email]

Hey, Dan, last night Annie gave me a box – and guess what was in that box?

Guinea pigs!

 

NICK

OK, my little beauties.

 

NICK [Composing email]

Ha! Of course they’re safe with me.

 

NICK

They’re safe with me, aren’t you, my pretty ones.

 

 

 

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

We were protesting outside Garrier’s factory and I saw Hector reporting for Channel Nine.

I thought, ‘Great, a sympathetic interview!’

Huh! His questions were so unfair!

 

HECTOR

“Have you got the guinea pigs?”

 

ANNIE

“Hector, why are you doing this?”

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

How could he?!

 

HECTOR

“This is Hector Romero for Channel Nine news.” Annie, please! I can explain!

Wait!

 

BRIDGET

Bridget Di Caprio! Mrs Leonardo Di Caprio! Leonardo and Bridget Di Caprio! “Hello, Mrs Di Caprio!” “Oh, call me Bridget.” “Is Leonardo there?” “No. He’s on the beach with our two beautiful children and the dogs.” Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

So aren’t you going to ask me about my lunch?”

 

Sound of water sprayer

 

NICK

Oi! What did you do that for?

 

BRIDGET

Aren’t you going to ask me about my lunch?

 

NICK

What lunch?

 

BRIDGET

My lunch with Leonardo!

 

NICK

Leonardo who?

 

BRIDGET

Leonardo Di Caprio, of course.

 

NICK

So Bridget, how was your lunch with Leonardo Di Caprio?

 

BRIDGET

Gorgeous!

I was so funny. He loved me, he loved my dress, he loved my name.

 

NICK

That’s nice.

 

BRIDGET

Now close your eyes. Go on, close your eyes. Ready?

 

NICK

Ah…

 

BRIDGET

Ta-daaa! What do you think?

 

NICK

Very nice.

 

BRIDGET

It was very expensive, but it’s worth it, because tonight, I’m going to a premiere. Oh, I can’t wait! I wonder if Leonardo will be there?

Now I must get ready. Tonight, this little lady’s going to shine! Tonight, this little lady’s going to shine!

 

HECTOR

Annie, I can explain.

Listen. Annie, please talk to me.

 

NICK

Hey, guys. Gre-at interview!

 

ANNIE

You were not fair, Hector.

You were asking awful questions.

 

NICK

Yeah, they were pretty bad.

 

HECTOR

It wasn’t me. It was Eunice.

 

ANNIE

Huh!

 

HECTOR

Hmm!

 

ANNIE

Oh, the guinea pigs!

Nick, where are they? I must take them to the animal sanctuary.

 

NICK

We’ve been having a lovely time, haven’t we, my friends! Huh! Hello!

They’re not here.

 

ANNIE

What do you mean, they’re not here?

 

NICK

I mean, they’re not here.

 

ANNIE

So where are they, Nick? Oh!

Squeaking noises

 

NICK

Everywhere?

 

ANNIE

Ooooh!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sound of telephone ringing

 

HECTOR

I’ll get it.

Hello? Oh, hi, Eunice. Huh?

Yes, Eunice. Ho-ho, OK, Eunice.

No, Eunice.

OK, Eunice.

Bye, Eunice.

It was Eunice!

 

ANNIE

 

HECTOR

And after what happened today, she says that I…

 

ANNIE

Oh, Hector! Your job!

She’s fired you!

Oh, I’m so sorry, Hector. It’s all my fault.

 

HECTOR

She says that I must tell you that she is so pleased with the interview, she wants Channel Nine to fight against animal cruelty!

 

ANNIE

Ohhh!

 

HECTOR

Channel Nine’s new motto is: “Animals are Human”!

 

ANNIE

Ohhhh! That’s fantastic news!

Oh, good old Eunice.

Oh! What about Mr Garrier?

 

HECTOR

Oh, she said don’t worry about Mr Garrier.

 

ANNIE

Ohhhh!

 

NICK

… …. errghhh!

 

ANNIE

Right, let’s find those guinea pigs.

 

NICK

Yes, right away!

 

ANNIE

Right, we found seven of them.

There’s just one guinea pig still missing.

 

NICK

He’s probably watching us.

 

HECTOR

Yeah, and laughing at us.

 

 

 

Sound of intercom buzzer

 

HECTOR

Hello? OK, right.

Bridget! Your taxi’s here.

 

BRIDGET

I’m coming.

New girlfriend, Nick?

Right, everyone, I’m just off to my premiere!

Did I mention it? Proper acting. Perhaps you could learn something, Nick.

Oops! Sorry, no spare ticket. Still, I’ll tell you all about it later. Bye! Don’t wait up!

 

Laughter

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, the friends go on holiday to Spain, Bridget finds her prince and Nick finds his princess. EXTRA, don’t miss it.

 

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