06_Extra_English_Bridget_wins_the_lottery

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Narrative

BRIDGET [reading horoscope]

Taurus: “Today you will have a change in career which will give you more money.”

BRIDGET

More money!

Ohhh! It’s my lucky day.

Now where was I?

99, 100. Good, that’s done.

Now the cushions. In my special order: orange, pink, purple…

 

HECTOR

Hi, Bridget.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, hi Hector. Red.

 

HECTOR

Hi, Annie.

 

ANNIE

I’m just… Bridget, no!

It’s OK, Bridget, you didn’t see it. You didn’t see it!

 

BRIDGET

What are you wearing? Take it off!

 

HECTOR

What?

 

BRIDGET

Your shirt, it’s that colour. Take it off.

 

HECTOR

This shirt? What is wrong with the colour? What’s wrong with yell…

 

ANNIE

Ahhh!

 

BRIDGET

Don’t say it!

Don’t say that colour. Just take it off and throw it out!

 

HECTOR

OK, OK.

 

BRIDGET

Done?

 

HECTOR

ANNIE

Bridget must not see anybody wearing that colour.

 

HECTOR

Why?

 

BRIDGET

Because that colour – urghhh! – is very unlucky for me and today is Lotto day!

 

HECTOR

Lotto day. What’s…

 

BRIDGET

The Lottery.

I pick 5 numbers. My numbers are: 66, 11, 89, 18 and 69.

If my numbers are the same as the Lottery numbers on television, I win millions!

 

HECTOR

I’ve never heard of it.

 

ANNIE

Bridget gets very excited.

 

HECTOR

 

BRIDGET

But I know how to keep calm.

 

ANNIE

So, there we are, Hector.

 

HECTOR

Great. I am going shopping. Do you need anything?

 

BRIDGET

Yes.

Could you get my dress from the dry cleaner’s, please?

 

HECTOR

Dry cleaner’s? OK.

 

BRIDGET

The blue ticket is on the board.

 

HECTOR

Oh. Got it. See you later, Bridget.

 

NICK

4-6-4-7. Hector!

 

HECTOR

Hi, Nick. I’ve just been to see Bridget.

 

NICK

Yes, I can see. Anyway, where are you going?

 

HECTOR

Oh, I am going shopping.

 

 

NICK

Ah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Come in here. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7.

Pen, pen, I need a… aha! pen. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Paper. Paper! 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Hoo! Thanks, Hector.

 

HECTOR

What is it?

 

NICK

Aha! Today I met a girl called Emily. She is very beautiful – long blonde hair, big…

 

HECTOR

Yes?

 

NICK

…blue eyes, and she is crazy about me.

 

HECTOR

Where did you meet her?

 

NICK

She was in her sports car. [Imitates car revving noise]

At the traffic lights.

 

HECTOR

Oh!

 

NICK

I asked her for a lift. She said 2No”/ but she shouted her phone number – 7-9-6-4-6-4-7.

 

HECTOR

Oh, I see.

 

NICK

Mwahh, ha-ha-ha! Hey!

Maybe she has a friend or a sister.

 

HECTOR

Wow, yeah!

 

NICK

Let’s go out. Today is my lucky day.

 

VOICE ON TELEVISION

Now it’s time for the National Lottery.

 

BRIDGET

Oh good. Is this my lucky day?

 

VOICE ON TELEVISION

And the numbers are…

 

Sound of telephone ringing

 

BRIDGET

Yes?

Oh, hello, Mother. Yes, well, I’m a bit busy. Can I call you – back?

Ahhh! I’ve won! Mum! I’ve won! I must go.

 

VOICE ON TELEVISION

And those were this week’s lucky numbers.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, whooaaaahhhhhh!

 

ANNIE

What is it?

 

BRIDGET

Annie! Ahhhhh!

 

ANNIE

Bridget, I can’t understand you!

 

BRIDGET

Annie, I have won the National Lottery!

 

BRIDGET and ANNIE

Aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Whooahhhhhhh!

 

BRIDGET

From now on, it will be a life of luxury.

Designer clothes!

 

ANNIE

Exotic holidays!

 

BRIDGET

Luxury homes!

The very best restaurants!

 

ANNIE

… Or mixing with the stars! [Ah …].

 

BRIDGET

But of course I will give a lot of money to charity.

No more work, no more bosses.

In fact I’ll call now and resign.

 

Dialling sound on mobile phone

 

VOICEMAIL MESSAGE

Hello, this is Harry Bowler.

Leave a message and I’ll ring you back.

 

BRIDGET

Harry, it’s Bridget. I resign!

I quit! I’m off!

Keep your job. Goodbye!

 

ANNIE

Oh dear.

 

BRIDGET

From now on, no more bosses for Bridget. Bridget is the boss!

Now I’ll just get my lucky little ticket.

 

BRIDGET

Ah!!

 

ANNIE

What is it?

 

 

BRIDGET

My Lottery ticket has disappeared.

 

ANNIE

What?!

 

BRIDGET

But the dry cleaning ticket is still there.

Hector has taken the wrong ticket. We’ll go to the dry cleaner’s.

 

BRIDGET [writing  email]

‘Today was Lottery day and, as usual, I did exactly the same thing to bring me luck.

I brushed my hair 100 times – 99, 100.

I arranged the cushions in my special order.

I did my yoga.’

 

ANNIE [writing  email]

‘Guess what? The good news is, Bridget has won the Lottery.’

 

BRIDGET and ANNIE

Ahhhhhhhh!

 

ANNIE

The bad news is, her winning Lottery ticket has disappeared.

Bridget asked Hector to collect her dry cleaning, but Hector took the wrong ticket!

 

HECTOR

Got it!

 

ANNIE

Oh dear!

Poor Bridget!

 

BRIDGET

My Lottery ticket has disappeared.

 

HECTOR and NICK

Hey …. Hey …. Ay!!!

 

HECTOR

Hey, Nick, that waitress really likes you.

 

NICK

Two girls in one day.

Call me Mr. Irresistible, ooh-oh! Hi, girls.

 

HECTOR

Hi, Bridget. Oops!

Your dress, Bridget. I forgot, sorry. I…, how did you collect the cleaning when I had the ticket?

 

BRIDGET

No, Hector –  darling.

You have the wrong ticket.

 

HECTOR

I have the wrong ticket?

 

BRIDGET

You have the wrong ticket.

Now give it to me.

 

 

HECTOR

Yes, I have it here, Bridget.

 

BRIDGET

You have got the ticket, Hector.

 

HECTOR

Yes, I have got the ticket, Bridget. I have lost the ticket.

 

BRIDGET

You have lost the ticket, Hector?

 

HECTOR

I have lost the ticket, Bridget.

 

NICK

You’ve lost the ticket, Hector.

You can’t have lost the ticket! Emily’s number is on the back!

 

BRIDGET

Oh-wah-wah-ah!!

 

HECTOR

Are you OK, Bridget?

 

BRIDGET

The ticket you took from the board was not the dry cleaning ticket.

It was my Lottery ticket.

My winning Lottery ticket.

 

HECTOR

 

BRIDGET

I am a multimillionaire.

But with no ticket!

And you, you can stop smiling, because this is your fault too!

 

ANNIE

OK! Nick! Hector! Where have you been?

 

HECTOR

Well, first we went to the CD shop.

 

NICK

No, no, no. First we went to Leo’s Café. Remember the waitress?

 

HECTOR

Oh yeah! She was … … …

 

BRIDGET

Yes, and…?

 

HECTOR

Then we went to the CD shop.

 

NICK

Then we went to Cool Man.

 

HECTOR

And then we went to the motorbike showroom.

 

NICK

Yeah!

 

Sound of Nick and Hector imitating motor bike noises

 

BRIDGET

Stop!

So, you are going back to look for it!

 

HECTOR and NICK

Yes, ma’am!

 

BRIDGET

And don’t come back until you’ve found it, OK?

 

HECTOR & NICK

OK!

 

BRIDGET

The ticket must be claimed by 10 o’clock tonight.

Now get going!

 

HECTOR & NICK

Yeah, … … …

 

BRIDGET

Understood?

 

HECTOR and NICK

Understood!

 

ANNIE

Cancer: “Today there is trouble at home.”

 

BRIDGET

Grrrrr!!!

 

ANNIE

You can say that again!

 

NICK

OK, Hector. I hope you find the ticket. See you later.

 

HECTOR

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going?

 

NICK

Well, I am going to the traffic lights.

Emily might return. I can’t ring her, because her number is on the lost ticket, remember?

 

HECTOR

Yeah, but what shall I do?

 

NICK

Look for the ticket, of course.

 

HECTOR

Yeah, but what shall I say?

 

NICK

Well, you say…, OK, I am the shopkeeper. You are you.

 

HECTOR

Great!

 

NICK

Great.

 

HECTOR

Good afternoon.

 

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]

Good afternoon.

 

HECTOR

I have lost my ticket.

 

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]

What sort of ticket?

 

HECTOR

Oh, my winning Lottery ticket.

 

NICK [pretending to be shopkeeper]

Oh, your winning…, wait a moment. You can’t say, “I have lost my winning Lottery ticket”.

 

HECTOR

Why not?

 

NICK

Because if they know it is a winning Lottery ticket, they will keep the money, they will hide it.

 

HECTOR

 

NICK

So you must be someone else.

 

HECTOR

Who?

 

NICK

Ha! Someone who can search the rubbish bins.

 

HECTOR

Search the rubbish bins?

 

NICK

That’s it! A dustman.

 

HECTOR

Dustman?

 

NICK

Yeah! A dustman can search the rubbish bins. Ha! Great idea, Nick.

 

HECTOR

Yeah, great idea, Nick.

 

NICK

Come on! You need to prepare!

 

 

 

NICK [writing email]

‘What a day!

I met a girl called Emily at the traffic lights – she’s crazy about me!

And she gave me her telephone number.

Unfortunately I wrote her number on Bridget’s Lottery ticket which Hector lost.’

Emily’s number is on the back!

 

BRIDGET

‘So I told them, “Don’t come back until you find it.”

Now get going!

 

HECTOR and NICK

Yeah-yeah-yeah!!!!

 

Sound of mobile phone ringing

 

HECTOR

Hello?

 

BRIDGET

Hello? Hector?

 

HECTOR

Hello, Bridget.

 

BRIDGET

Have you found the ticket?

 

HECTOR

No, not yet.

 

BRIDGET

Well, where’s Nick?

 

HECTOR

At the traffic lights.

 

BRIDGET

What?! At the traffic lights? Well, call me when you’ve found the ticket! Leo: “Today you will have a big surprise. Your life will be turned upside-down.” Hmm!

 

HECTOR

Right!

 

ANNIE

Leo: “Today you will have a big surprise.

Your life will be turned upside-down.”

 

BRIDGET

Ohhh!!!

 

NICK [whistling and humming]

 

BRIDGET

Well?

 

NICK

 

ANNIE

Well?

 

NICK

Well, what?

 

BRIDGET

Any luck?

 

NICK

Well, yes and no.

 

BRIDGET

Yes and no?

 

NICK

Hmm. The bad news is, I didn’t find her.

 

BRIDGET

Who?

 

NICK

 

BRIDGET

Emily who?

 

NICK

Emily, the girl at the traffic lights.

 

BRIDGET

 

NICK

The good news is…

 

BRIDGET

Yes?

 

NICK

I made £50 cleaning windscreens.

 

BRIDGET

Ahhh! Where’s Hector?

Where’s my ticket? Oh, look at the time. It’s ten to ten!

 

ANNIE

Ten to ten?

I haven’t fed Charlie.

Oh, where is Charlie? I must find him.

 

NICK

Charlie was asleep on my bed this afternoon.

 

ANNIE

Oh, thanks Nick.

Oh, there you are, Charlie. Charlie? What’s this?

Ohhhh! Ohhhhh!

Bridget! Bridget! I found it! Your ticket!

 

BRIDGET

What?!

 

NICK

Where?

 

ANNIE

On Nick’s bed.

 

NICK

Who?

 

BRIDGET

On Nick’s bed!

Well, give it to me.

 

NICK

No, give it to me!

 

BRIDGET

It’s my Lottery ticket.

 

NICK

Emily’s number’s on the back!

 

BRIDGET

It’s mine!

 

NICK

Give it to me!

 

ANNIE

It’s OK, it’s OK. I’ll stick it back together.

 

BRIDGET and NICK

Grrrrrrrrrr!

 

ANNIE

Done! Ha!  Oh, hi Hector. Oh, poor Hector. I’ve just found the ticket on Nick’s bed. Isn’t it exciting?

 

BRIDGET

Thank you!

Ha!

Now I can claim my money!

 

Sound of door being banged

 

ANNIE

Oh, poor Hector.

I’ve just found the ticket on Nick’s bed.

Isn’t it exciting!

 

HECTOR

Yeah, great.

 

NICK

I can call Emily now!

 

HECTOR

Oh, great!

 

NICK

When Bridget has finished.

 

HECTOR

 

ANNIE

Shh! Shh!

 

BRIDGET

Hello!

I’d like to claim my prize money, please. My numbers are: 66, 11, 89, 18 and 69.

What?! What do you mean, they’re not the winning numbers? Well, what are your numbers then?

Well, 69, 81, 68, 11 and 99? But how?

 

HECTOR

Hey, I know what happened.

Bridget, what were you doing while watching the Lottery?

 

BRIDGET

My yoga.

 

HECTOR

Aha! Which position?

 

BRIDGET

This one.

 

HECTOR

Exactly.

These are your numbers, but this way.

 

BRIDGET

Ohhh!!

 

ANNIE

Oh, bravo, Hector.

 

HECTOR

Hey, it was nothing.

 

NICK

Aha! Emily’s number. 7-9-4-6-4-6-4-7. Aha, it’s ringing. Helloooo. Is Emily there? No?

Who are you?

Jack’s Taxis? Emily! You tricked me!

 

BRIDGET

Oh, what an unlucky day.

Well, it can’t get any worse. Yes, it can. The phone call. My job. We must get that tape back. Now. And I know just the man for the job.

 

ANNIE

Well, it can’t get any worse!

 

BRIDGET

Yes it can!

The phone call.

My job.

We must get the tape back – now!

And I know just the men for the job!

 

HECTOR & NICK

Oh no!

 

BRIDGET & ANNIE

Oh yes!

 

 

HECTOR

Nick, should we be here?

 

NICK

It’s OK. Bridget said it was OK.

 

HECTOR

Look! There is the answerphone.

 

NICK

Quick, get the tape!

 

Sound of dog barking

 

SECURITY GUARD

Security! Who’s there?

 

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, Bridget’s twin comes to stay, Hector asks Annie on a date and why is Bridget being so nice, or is she?

EXTRA, don’t miss it.

 

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